The Way I Am
by kt2785
Summary: Sawyer takes Kate the way she is.


**A/N: A small little ficlet b/c I thought of this idea, and had to write it down.**

Kate was in her rebuilt tent. She was sobbing as softly as she could. Earlier that night was Charlie's funeral. She curled herself up in a ball.

Sawyer was sitting outside on the beach. Everyone was so depressed that day. He wasn't any different, but he was depressed for different reasons. Sure Charlie was a great guy and he would surely be missed by everyone. But Sawyer hadn't talked to Kate since she came back to the beach. It was mostly his own fault, but he was still hoping that she would crack first. He stood up and walked down the beach. He could hear soft sobbing and sniffling coming from Kate's tent. He knew that she was crying. He sighed softly and went into her tent. He sat down next to her, but her back was still to him.

"Go away Sawyer," she sniffled.

"How'd you know it was me?" he mumbled.

"I could smell your cologne," she let out a soft chuckle but was still sniffling and crying.

"I don't wear cologne," he said quietly

"Yes you do," she smiled, and still kept her back to him.

"Anyway, I came in here to ask you if you have any water," he replied. "I'm dying of thirst...do you have any?"

"Seriously?" she asked, slightly annoyed and turning toward him.

"What?" he questioned with a laugh

"I'm in here crying and all you want is a bottle of water?" she stated.

"No," he shook his head. "I just wanted to get you to talk to me. Do something. Say something...even if you're pissed."

"I was never mad at you James," she said quietly. "I'm just scared, and confused, and upset."

"I know," he whispered. "Come here."

"No," she shook her head and looked down trying her best to avoid eye contact.

"Hey," he began. "J-just look at me."

"I can't," she said.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I won't be able to stop," she stated. "I won't be able to look away."

"Kate," he sighed. "Come on...this is me. I'm not Jack. I'm just me. You can look at me Kate."

She slowly lifted her head and looked up at him. He gave her a small smile and it made her let out a chuckle. She leaned against him and began to sob again.

"He was a good person," she sobbed. "He didn't deserve to die."

"Yeah," Sawyer whispered. "You're right."

"Why is it that the people who are good...who would never hurt anyone...I mean Libby, Boone, Shannon, Naomi...and now Charlie. I feel guilty."

"Why? Because you're still alive?" he asked.

"Yes, no...I don't know. All I know is that maybe it would be easier-"

"Don't Kate," he interrupted. "Don't even think it. You do not deserve to die Kate. You deserve to live and be happy...even if it's with Jack."

"Why are you bringing him up?" she asked with a chuckle. "You don't even like him...you would never want to see me with him."

"You're right," he replied. "But hey...if we can't live together, we're gonna die alone."

"What happened to every man for himself?" she asked.

"Well, when I almost got kicked out of the tribe some of my priorities changed," he mumbled. "Kate, I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know if we're gonna get rescued, and I don't know if we're gonna see each other ever again if we do...but all I know is that right now...while we're still here...it's like I have a magnetic north pointed toward you. I can't keep away from you."

"You didn't have a problem with that while we were going up to the tower," she whispered. "In fact you wanted nothing to do with me."

"I didn't want to-my mind never left you. You're all I can think about," he replied, and didn't wait a minute longer to kiss her. She kissed him back and then smiled.

"You taste like strawberries," she whispered.

"So do you," he said. "But you're in love with Jack. You and I...we would never work in the real world."

"I don't think that me and Jack could ever work in the real world either," she stated. "Jack and I are too different...even if he does love me."

"Well I can see the way you look at him Kate," he replied. "You love him."

"What are you going to do if I'm pregnant?" she asked, somewhat bluntly.

"I don't want to talk abou-"

"No," she interrupted. "I don't either. But it could be something that's a reality."

"I don't want to talk about that Kate," he repeated. "And I'm not going to. If you bring it up again I'm leavin'."

"James," she whispered.

"Just don't," he shook his head. "I don't want to think about it."

"I don't either," she stated. "But that's pretty much all I've been able to think about since Juliet mentioned it."

"Me too," he replied. "I'm gonna go."

"Please don't," she said.

"What do you care?" he asked. "You like to run...can't I once in a while?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "If you want to then I won't stop you."

"Goodnight Freckles," he responded. He squeezed her hand firmly and left her tent. She laid back and sighed deeply. She didn't want him to leave, but couldn't really blame him. She heard the tent flap open again and smiled to herself. She sat up on her elbows. Jack appeared in her doorway.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine Jack," she nodded.

"I know that you and Charlie were kind of close," he murmured.

"Everyone was close to Charlie," she responded. "But no one was closer to him then Hurley and Claire...if you want to see if someone's ok you might want to go ask them."

"I already did," he replied. "Neither of them wanted to talk."

"What makes you think I will?" she asked.

"Oh," he nodded. "Yeah. You're right. Sorry."

"No," she sighed. "Jack I'm sorry. Come back, it's ok. I'm just tired and upset."

"What did he say?" Jack asked.

"What did who say?" she questioned back and wrinkled her nose.

"Sawyer," he said. "I saw him leaving your tent a few minutes ago. He must have said something to you. "Otherwise you wouldn't be so weird with me."

"He didn't say anything," she shook her head. "I'm just-I was just thinking...why do you love me?"

"What?" he scoffed.

"Why do you love me Jack?" she asked. "There has to be a reason."

"Can't it just be that I love you because I do?" he questioned. "You're an amazing person. The way you-just everything about you."

"What about my past?" she asked. "Do you love that part of me?"

"I don't know that part of you," he stated. "Remember? You wouldn't tell me what you did, or what happened."

"Yeah, because you didn't want to hear it. I gave you your chance...that's the kind of person I am Jack...you can't decide one minute that you don't want to know, and then the next decide that it's the most important part about me."

"I didn't," he shook his head. "I just-I knew something must have happened, and I wanted-"

"I killed my father," she interrupted. "Is that what you wanted to hear? I killed him...and then I ran from the cops. I'll be running for the rest of my life...that is if we ever get rescued."

"Why?" he asked.

"I can't believe you even have to ask that," she scoffed. "I'm not like you Jack. I'm not a good person. I never will be a good person."

"Well I still love you," he responded. "The fact that you killed your dad has never changed...just now I know. And I still love you."

"Despite it?" she asked.

"I guess," he shrugged.

"I thought so," she whispered.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked. "I'm supposed to love you because of it?"

"Sawyer does," she mumbled. "He just-he takes me as I am. He never had to ask what I did...he knew. Just-Sawyer and I are the same. And I could never have a real relationship with either of you, but at least with Sawyer I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not."

"You never had to-"

"Yes I did," she responded. "Believe me. I wish to God that I didn't...but I just do. I change who I am around you...I don't know why I...I have to go."

"What?" he asked, this time very confused.

"I just-I just realized-God I'm so stupid!" she exclaimed. "I'm sorry Jack...but for now...it has to be Sawyer. I don't have to pretend around him...I just get to be Katherine. I'm not Maggie, or Monica, or Annie...I'm just Kate."

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked.

"My stupid aliases...when I've tried to be someone I'm clearly not. Someone that someone like you could love. Kate belongs with Sawyer."

She took a deep breath. It felt really weird to say it out loud, but as she thought, the more she realized that it was true. She stood up and walked over to Sawyer's tent. He wasn't in it. She sighed deeply and walked down the beach. She tripped over a pile of something as she was walking. She looked down and saw Sawyer's boots, pants, and t-shirt sitting on the beach. She let out a small chuckle and looked into the water. She saw Sawyer floating on his back. He was moving around, so she knew he was ok.

"Sawyer!" she yelled. He quickly looked up at her, both startled by her yelling, and afraid that she was in trouble. She walked quickly into the water with all her clothes on and wrapped her arms around him.

"What are you doin'?" he asked.

"I-I'm-I don't know what I'm doing Sawyer," she stuttered. "But all I know is that right now...on this island...I belong with you."

"What about when we get rescued?" he asked.

"I don't want to talk about that right now," she smirked. "I don't know what will happen. I just know that I need you."

"I need you too Freckles," he whispered into her neck.

_If you were falling, then I would catch you.  
You need a light, I'd find a match (_Actual Scene: Sawyer pulls a lighter out of his pocket. "Need a light?"...Kate nods and smiles slightly)

_Cuz I love the way you say good morning.  
And you take me the way I am_

_If you are chilly, here take my sweater.__  
Your head is aching, I'll make it better (_Actual Scene: Kate makes Sawyer go see Jack because of his headaches.)

_Cuz I love the way you call me baby (_Or Freckles)  
_And you take me the way I am_

_I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair. (_Kate gives Sawyer a hair cut)  
_Sew on patches to all you tear._

_Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise (_"I only said that so he'd stop hitting you.")  
_And you take me the way I am  
You take me the way I am  
You take me the way I am-The way I am, by Ingrid Michaelson_

**A/N: The song really didn't have everything to do with the fic, but I definitely think that this song is the epitomy of the Skate relationship! Anyway I hope you enjoyed it because I really liked writing it...please review!**


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